Upon the latest tragedy making its way through the news cycle, comics around the country are officially finding out which of their friends are unfunny pieces of human garbage.

“I knew some of them were marginally funny” says Tyler Makelroy, local comic and part time dog groomer, “but I didn’t know so many were also terrible people.” Upon hearing of the latest public tragedy, many normal, feeling people went to social media to show the most basic sense of human compassion and sympathy. Unlike these “human beings”, more than a few comics saw this as an opportunity to get more than their fair share of snarky one liners, hack jokes, and the occasional maligning of the character of the latest victim.

“Whenever I see a school shooting, natural disaster, or anything where a bunch of people die, basically, I start writing right away.” said one awful person who I refuse to name. 

With Facebook feeds inundated with a deluge of these “jokes”, one could be excused for losing what little faith in humanity they had left. But rest assured, the latest tragedy will die down and everyone can get back to their game-changing Donald Trump prison material.