In the hallowed history of professional wrestling, there are some things you can always count on. If there’s a cake of any kind, someone will get it in the face. If there’s a tag team, they will eventually break up. And if you hand Vince McMahon any kind of money, he’ll start another F$%&ing football league.

Another inevitability of professional wrestling is the introduction of Santa during the holiday season. Indeed, the jolly bearded one has made more than one one appearance in professional wrestling and will surely continue to do so. But not every appearance is a positive one. It’s wrestling after all. So with that in mind, let’s look at the worst things wrestling has done to Santa.

They Made Santa a Dudley

In December 2001, the WWF was just about to begin their Brand Expansion, splitting RAW and SmackDown into faux competitive brands. Think if Vince McMahon was the emperor from Gladiator.

During this, WWF co-owners Vince McMahon and Ric Flair held separate (but certainly not equal) Christmas parties backstage, each with their own Santa. While Flair chose the loveable, if not completely incomprehensible Tajiri to don the red suit, McMahon decided none other than Bubba Ray Dudley would be a great person to give away toys. Except that he’s Bubba Ray Dudley and mostly gave Bubba Bombs, but I digress.

This whole experiment, which featured numerous WWF superstars telling Tajiri Claus what they wanted, despite the fact he couldn’t understand what they were saying, as well as Bubba Claus drinking more than the actual Santa but still less than the average ECW alum.

This culminated with the inevitable Santa vs. Santa match where Tajiri and Bubba Ray Dudley squared off, complete in Santa costume because it was the end of the invasion and everyone was pretty much drunk. The match was…a match…and featured Tajiri doing his usual spots while wearing a full Santa costume, which is something I can’t believe I saw, let alone typed.

The match ended after Tajiri sprayed Bubba with red mist (get it?) then kicked him in the head.

Santa With Muscles

That is all.

911 Chokeslammed Santa Claus (and Got Cheered)

On the other (ahem) extreme, let’s take a look at ECW. In 1994, ECW was like bizarro world compared to the rest of pro wrestling. While the WWF had Santa giving out toys, ECW also had him show up in South Philadelphia.

Then he was chokeslammed.

On the December 20, 1994 ECW show, the jolly one appeared before the rabid ECW arena crowd, passing out toys. That is until wrestling one-hit wonder 911 showed up and chokeslammed him into the mat. And, being that this was ECW, 911 was cheered. They were extreme after all.

A Group of “Santas” Jumped Mankind

In December 1999, the WWF was being ruled by the iron fist of Triple H and Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley. No, not 2013-2016 in real life, the other one.

Anyway, during this reign of terror, the McMahon-Helmsley Era tried to force Christmas lover and part time Santa Mick Foley (Mankind) to have a boiler room brawl with the actual Santa Claus. Talk about evil.

Mankind refused to do it, even offering to allow Mr. Claus to leave the boiler room (thereby winning the match) without a fight. While this was honorable on Mankind’s part, D-Generation X (the corporate sellout boss’s entourage group, not the perverted rebel group) had other plans.

So not only did Mankind not have to fight one Santa, he had to fight a group of them. That’s right, DX dressed up as a group of Santa and beat up Mankind in a boiler room. Which I’m pretty sure is one of Mick Foley’s actual nightmares.

Kurt Angle Broke Santa’s Ankle

At the 2004 Armageddon event, none other than Santa Claus answered Kurt Angle’s open challenge. Why? Hell if I know.

Anyway, despite the belief of children around the world and a 150 weight advantage over the Olympic gold medalist, ol’ Saint Nick was no match and quickly tapped out before Kurt Angle killed him.

The WWF Hired Santa’s Evil Brother

This one is a product of its time. In 1995, the WWF was still in the midst of the cartoonish hangover hellscape that was the early 90s WWF. Think the 80s minus the whimsy.

During this, Puerto Rican newcomer and former ninja Savio Vega started believing in Santa. At least he believed in him when Santa jumped him and hit him from behind with a sack of toys. In a wrestling ring. On pay per view. Yes, I’m serious.

The seeming Kris Kringle heel turn was then explained that this wasn’t Santa Claus, it was his evil brother Xanta Klaus, who was from the South Pole and stole presents.

He joined Ted Dibiase’s Million Dollar Corporation to undoubtedly lend them more credibility. The character (played by Balls Mahoney of all people) didn’t last long. And honestly, why would it?

They Hit Santa With a Car

I cannot stress this enough, they hit Santa with a car. More specifically, in 2012, Alberto Del Rio hit Santa with his car live on RAW, in front of children.

This was during their much lauded “PG era”, in which the company mainly focused their programming on children. So of course the greatest decision at this time was to have a character run down a beloved childhood icon.

It was like that time in 1995 where Bob Backlund beat Barney to death with a baseball bat.

Oh, that didn’t happen?

Then why did this?